How is Christmas over already? How is it almost New Year’s? And how can it be that we have less than four months until the baby arrives?

I have moments where it occurs to me that this is really happening, that we’re going to have a baby and be parents, that Lindsay as I know her is going to change forever. And on a particularly hormonal day, this can send me into a tailspin. It did yesterday, drudging up feelings about stuff I haven’t thought about in forever, whether we’re ready to be parents, if I’ll ever get my body back or be able to drink beer again.

But then I have moments where it occurs to me that I’m getting a baby of my very own, a child to teach and take care of, who will think the world of me, at least for a while. And then I think that my life is going to change and be filled with more joy than I can possibly imagine. I’m going to be someone’s mom.

In spite of all this, life goes on. I baked cookies and we rearranged the living room (then thought, ‘This is so much better — why didn’t we have it like this before?’). I read books and worked on a quilt for the baby. Adam and I watched Scrubs and went to the movies. We went to church and got sprayed with holy water. He rubbed my back. I felt better.

I’m still fine tuning my resolutions list, one that’s longer than any other I’ve ever made. I blame it on the fact that I’m going to be someone’s mom, that it gives me some perspective and motivation to restructure things and commit to others. I’ll be sharing it soon.

I am very much looking forward to starting 2009!